i want to be completely honest but if i do some people will get hurt and be angry with me. but i really need to get it out so i have a problem. do i write it down and maybe feel better or do i keep it inside until i blow up?
i want to throw myself in some town that no one has ever heard of just so i can start over. so that maybe i won't be able to see places and people that make me just want to start crying. but at the same time i want to just do my best to make everything better. i have no idea how to do that tho. i mean how do you ask someone for forgiveness when you don't think you deserve it? and how do you decide the next step when you have so many conflicting ideas going around your mind? i mean how do you decide whether you want to try to go back to how it was when you know you'll never be able to get what happened out of your mind? how do you stop from going crazy from all that stuff in your head? i've asked too many questions:/ i just need to rant. but in actuality i just need to sit down and think long and hard about what it is that i want. but i'm running away now. so peace.
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