?

why are all my friends/acquaintances engaged or pregnant or heading in that direction? is it just because that's what i want and it's making me notice it more? i mean one guy that used to be a manslut is getting married. that's just crazy and it makes me sad that they get the thing i want. but i guess i should just be happy for them and get over it. but it sucks big monkey balls:( i have to wait for chris to be ready for marriage and children and all that really big commitment stuff. i asked for a puppy and he kind of blew me off which makes me sad but i understand why i shouldn't have one. the deposit is ridiculous and we both now have second jobs so we don't really have the time for one and i don't really have the best track record when it comes to pets. but i want something that needs me or at least makes me feel needed. maybe that's all i want is to feel needed and loved. i like to be reminded of that sometimes. it's nice. whatever. i'm done i'm going to watch tv or read a little bit more.
peace out